It is true that as relationships change, certain aspects of that relationship change over time. It is not always an easy evolution to follow, but one day you wake up and think to yourself, "When did it become okay for my husband to buy me tampons?"
Another role that changes hands is that of the official "gift-buyer" in the family. When a couple begins dating, the lines are clearly established. He buys for his family, and you buy for yours. Fast-forward a few years and suddenly you are buying for every member of both families except for one...yourself. How does this happen? And why do we let it happen?
It dawned on me this past week as I was mailing out Christmas parcels, and making sure Brent's grandmother and sister-in-law and sister's daughter had gifts, that at one point this was his job. What I am struggling with is whether or not he shied away from the responsibility, or whether I just assumed his side of the family when I began shopping for my own.
Now, don't get me wrong. I love Brent's family, and everyone in it. I love buying them gifts that I think they will enjoy and all that. But men shouldn't be allowed to get stressed out when they have one person to buy for. One. Uno. Une. That's it. This year I bought presents for 27 people, and those are just the ones I can remember off the top of my head. There may be more that I have forgotten because my mind if frazzled from BUYING PRESENTS FOR 27 PEOPLE!
My theory is that this happens when finances become combined. Prior to that, there is no way that all of the gifts are coming out of your pot of money. So maybe that is the secret. Keep everything separate, and the gifts purchasing remains separate as well.
So me having you and Ellen buy for your mother is one step beyond that ?????
ReplyDeleteYes Dad. YOu have taken Christmas shopping to a whole other level...not Christmas shopping. You and the grinch are the only two people I know of who do not actually buy any presents. How you have managed that one is beyond me.
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